Love Don't Live Here Anymore. Or Does It?

This week, it hit me. I have been single for three years. Time really does fly when you are having fun or better yet when you are trying to discover who you really are. Now that I am finally fully embracing my womanhood another dilemma has appeared in my life. Do I even know what love looks like anymore?

I have been alone for so long. Would I even recognize it if it were standing right in front of my face? I will be honest, fairytales have messed me up. My real-life romances were nothing like Cinderella.

Love was a mix of intense passion and tears falling down my cheeks. Thirty calls to his phone hoping he would pick up once, a random female’s number saved under a different name, counting condoms in his bedside table just to discover one missing, and constant uncertainty as to where I stand in his heart. It all became a routine regardless of who “he” was. I am trying to figure out if it will be like waves crashing against shore or refreshing like rain on a hot summer day?

Does love even live here anymore? Since my last fling, as sign has been placed around my heart reading “No Vacancy”. He was electric. He lit up my life, but when he abandoned me the connection died along with pieces of my heart. Those pieces were replaced with logical thinking. Maybe that is for the best? I walk away from anything that does not suit me. One bad vibe and I am out the door. I will be honest I do miss being the girl who could love anyone for who they are.

But forreal, what is love exactly? Love makes me nervous. It excites and scares me. I love it and hate it at the same time. I am trying to figure out how God could love so freely? To give her only son. To free people from heartache asking nothing in return. To create life. I wonder…

But I guess I will continue to wonder, because I am not God. I am simply Tiffany Lit’Shae

#Journeyto30-Near Death in NYC

This is the story of a young black woman. Loving herself. Discovering her inner light. Learning to live in her truth. Giving herself permission to take up space. Trying to figure it all out, but most importantly appreciating every moment along the way. In this episode, I tell how it all began with a near death experience in New York City.

Self Care Moment ft I See You Wellness

On the eve of December 31st, I stood surrounded by a few good friends and quite a large number of strangers as the clock slowly counted down.

It was officially 2019. In an absurd way this holiday cast away my past failures and gave my soul permission to start new. This year, I chose to commit to myself in a deeper way; with intentionality.  

I closed my eyes and worked my feminine magic as I put my intentions into the universe. I wasn’t focused on being a new me, but more-so taking care of the easily overwhelmed, sometimes distraught, but always beautiful “old” me. The 2019 intention is to love on myself and in return share the wealth with you.

Here is my gold.

I recently plunged in the "Indulge Yourself" — The Complete Self Care Package curated by Mar at I See You Wellness. Side note, check out her story, she is a total magical badass.

The box is priced at $70, but contains quite a few dope items including…..

·         "Soothe Yourself" Calming Toner + Mist

·         "Feel Yourself" Moroccan Black Soap (1oz)

·         "Ground Yourself" Grounding Roll On

·         "Uplift Yourself" Uplifting Candle (4oz)

·         "Nourish Yourself" Multi-Use Oil

·         "Clear Yourself" Palo Santo + Sage Bundle

·         And  a magical  affirmation that felt as if it was made especially for me

The coolest thing about this package is everything is genuinely magical and I can honestly say that I use each product at least 2-3 times per week.

The black soap and toner along with my jade roller and drinking water have greatly decreased my forehead wrinkles. The oil is the perfect end to my love baths and the palo santo help to direct my focus during my morning meditations.

But if you want to try something that is divine, magical, and soul cleansing, I highly suggest the “Ground Yourself" Grounding Roll On.

On my most anxious days, I roll a small amount on my wrist. Rub them together and I take a deep deep breathe. Instantly my worries melt away like snow on a sunny day. It has been a small but mighty piece of heaven especially in these few months when I have been pushed to my limits.

Ground Yourself" Grounding Roll On

Please, support the brand and let me know which product you love most.

Peace x Love.

Manifest Your Dreams With A Manifestation Routine

In a few days you will be bombarded with the “New Year, New Me” messaging that sends us into the chaotic spiral of rethinking our purpose in life. Sounds pretty scary right? Nah, you good, because you have a power hidden deep within you to make all of your dreams come true. You can manifest anything you desire, but it takes vision; focus, discipline, and most importantly hard work.

Unfortunately, manifestation is a Catch 22. We believe things based on evidence, but in order to get that evidence we have to have faith. Last year, I made the vision clear, but whenever shit hit the fan my desires seemed out of reach. Needless to say, half way into the year, I gave up. After a little reflection and a pep talk, I put that “S” on my chest and decided to be the super hero in my story. I regrouped, reevaluated, reinvested, and most importantly I made a manifestation routine.

Some dope things I have manifested this year with my routine include healing, awesome travel, financial freedom (I literally paid off about $3k of debt in three months), self-love, and self-awareness.

So, here is my weekly routine along with a few tips to help you start manifesting your dreams.

Weekly Manifestation Routine

Monday: Set a weekly intention. What do you want to accomplish? Where do you see yourself in the next week and what will it take to get there? Focus? Determination? Healing? Whatever it is set your intention for the week to manifest, determine check points, and do the work to make it happen.

Tuesday: Pray for clarity, because sometimes, we want things that, but that small stuff does not compare to what God has in store for us. Make sure you are in alignment with your greater purpose.

Wednesday: Vision Board Meditation. In the words of our beautiful Muva Erykah,

“Write it down on real paper with a real pencil. And watch shit get real”

Whether through a vision board or sticky notes on your wall, make your dreams visible and watch them become a reality in your life. You don’t have to do this once a year. Weekly vision boards help you to reevaluate, redefine, and reinvest in your goals each week.

Thursday: Gratitude Day. Blessings come to a grateful heart. This is why it is so important to regularly practice gratitude. Take a piece of paper and write one thing you are grateful for put it in a jar. At the end of the year, you can reflect on all the beautiful moments.

Friday: Check in with your accountability group. They want you to succeed as much as you want to succeed. Let them know your struggles and the status of your projects. They are your best advocates and motivators.

Saturday: Celebrate Reaching Checkpoints by doing something that makes you feel good. Yo, you made it 7 days on this Earth for that alone, you should be proud, because being human is no easy task. I will warn you, don’t go overboard. Remember the key word is small. You could buy yourself a new pair of shoes or treat yourself to a dinner date.

Sunday: Day of Reflection. Take a seat and ask yourself the following questions:

• What worked for me?

• Where did I fail in my intention?

• Where did I succeed?

• What could I do better?

• What did not work for me?

• Have I outgrown this goal?

• Who or what can support me in making these visions a reality?

Other Manifestation Tips:

• Be flexible. You want certain things, but life may have other plans for you.

• Don’t forget to reward yourself for the small steps! Growth can be a slow process, but remember every step is inching closer to your ultimate goals.

So before you get lost in the sauce that is called life and quit, take a deep breath. Remember you can make anything you desire a reality. You simply have to work hard and believe.

What are you manifesting in 2019? Let me know! I believe in you :)

Curating Your Sacred Space

As we grow into womanhood or manhood, have kids, get married, get new jobs, etc., we are going to find our lives become busier and our personal space become smaller.  It becomes more and more important that we have a space and time to ourselves. Sacred space allows us a spot that is dedicated to self-reflection and deepens the connection that we have with our faith.

Here are some tips to creating your own sacred space (or altar):

This may sound simple, but the most important thing to do is make it your own. Many times we try to emulate what we think a sacred space should look like (ie candles, incense, buddha),  but your sacred space is not about what it is “supposed” to be. It is about what you need it to be. If burning incense gives you clarity, burn ‘em! If they give you a headache, girl let them go in exchange for a non-scented candle. You can add pictures of your family,

Your space needs to be a reflection of you and the elements that make you.  These elements keep you grounded and at peace with your surroundings and can be found right  outside your door. The four elements you should include are:

1. Earth carries feminine energy and represents grounding. You can place flowers, crystal, or stones in your sacred space to represent earth.

2. Water symbolizes intuition, healing, and reflection. You can literally put a bowl of water in your space or choose to add things that represent water like seashells.

3. Air is life. Of course, it is all around us, but try to have a symbol to represent this element. You can always use incense or feathers.

4. Fire represents creative energy and strong will. You can represent fire by lighting a simple candle.

Not everyone does or will view your space as sacred. When you begin to build your space, a cloth that represents strength and resilience to you may look like a simple blanket to someone else. Don’t be offended. Clearly, let people know how you value your space and not to disturb your scared peace.

Sacred space and time align to create divine interactions. Your sacred space will have no meaning or purpose unless you spend time in it. Try to carve one day a week where you take some time alone to embrace yourself in your sacred space.

Your sacred space is a place to let go, find focus, and dive deeper within your faith. Seek it, designate it, and cherish it.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO INCLUDE IN YOUR SACRED SPACE? LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS.

The Ultimate Self Care Gift Guide

Treat the special person in your life (or yourself) to the gift of rest and relaxation this holiday season! Click any of the pictures to learn more or purchase. Oh, and let me know which are your faves :)

Self Care Kit by Paper Source, $26.95

Take care of yourself! Mini self-care package arrives in an iridescent pouch and contains a face mask, eye mask, lavender essential oil, ear plugs, mini water infuser, enamel pin, eye gel packs, and a habit tracker.

Bamboo Bathtub Caddy by Royal Craft Wood, $36.97

Enjoy the ultimate relaxing bath with Royal Craft Wood Bathtub Caddy! Made from 100% natural organic bamboo.

Deluxe Lifestyle Candles by Lavish by Nature, $18.00

Choose these Deluxe Lifestyle Candles to naturally enhance the ambiance of your home + enrich your mind, body, & spirit.

Triangle Essential Oil Diffuser Necklace by LAVA, $36.99

Handcrafted lava triangle necklace also doubles as an essential oil diffuser. With its minimalist, versatile and simple design, it features a carefully selected lava triangle stone and high quality hypoallergenic dainty chain. Perfect for layering or wearing solo.

Undated Cosmic Rose Gold Planner by Passion Planner, $35.00

Manifesting your dreams starts with one simple act: writing it down. With this Undated rose gold planner, the possibilities are infinite. 


Rose Quartz Bath Salt by Mixxy Kreations, $18.00

The detoxifying natural minerals and elements from Himalayan Pink Salts and Dead Sea Salts are essential for a healthy soak for the skin and body. Restorative dried rose petals which contains natural oils, will lock long lasting moisture within the skin. Infused with a unique aromatherapy blend of calming Lavender and Tangerine essential oils to promote a natural sleep aid, stress reliever, and relax the body.

Luxe Smart Bracelets + Rings by Ringly, $165.00

Be the one who isn’t glued to her phone during dinner. Tuck your phone away, but still know when there’s an important call or message with fashionably activity tracking and mobile alerts.

Guided Meditation Subscription by Headspace, $7.99

Meditation made simple. Take the first step on your journey towards a healthier, happier life. Learn to meditate with Headspace.

3 Day Organic Juice Cleanse by 1987 Juices, $125.00

Start the new year refreshed and rejuvenated. For those just starting out or deciding to do a weekend cleanse to jumpstart the upcoming week or flush the previous. 87er’s have lost 1-5lbs on this cleanse. 3 flavors: Four Leaf Clover, Georgia, Morning Kisses. My favorite is Morning Kisses

My Calm Blanket by CALM, $169.00

The evenly distributed weight of CALM blankets is used to aid in conditions such as Anxiety, ADHD, SPD, Stress, Autism, Insomnia and many more sensory conditions. They are also used in everyday life when it just gets a little too much.

#DIY Calming Anxiety Spray

A short tutorial on how to make calming spray which is perfect for those who often feel anxious like myself. Watch the video and let me know in the comments how it works for you!

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Empowering books for healing.

Reading was the lost art that I rediscovered in the midst of loneliness….

It was April of 2017 when I moved into my new apartment post breakup. I was so disappointed in the way my life was turning out. This felt like a fresh start until I got into a fight with my roommate. Seriously, it was like an atomic bomb dropped into my life on top of all the other turmoil.

My liberation soon turned into loneliness. Out of fear and hurt, I secluded myself within the four walls of my room. I didn’t have a television and of course my computer recently crashed so I spent most of my nights staring at the walls and reading.

Through this time, I became a self-proclaimed self-help junkie and quickly learned there is hope. Depending on what you are feeling at the moment, here are the books I recommend for you.

For those who want to give up hope… “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho

Be at ease. Your destiny is already written. I am always quoting “The Alchemist” in EVERYTHING. On the road to your purpose, you will have bumps and bad days, but this book reminds us that our destiny is already written. When you follow the signs and have faith in your God, anything is possible. If you only believe. 

For those who are learning to love themselves…. “Real Love” by Suzanne Salzberg

You are beautiful. You are a living breathing work of art. The most important relationship you will nurture is the one you have with yourself. Real love is my bible for self love. Through the suggested reflections and meditative processes, I have grown to love myself so much. I love myself enough to believe in myself, go for opportunities, and let go of things that no longer serve me purpose. I believe you can love yourself this deeply too.  

For those who are rediscovering themselves…”Homegoing” by Yaa Gyasi

You are a ripple in a vast ocean. Each movement you make will positively or negatively affect the world. Are you moving in pain or purpose? I choose to move in purpose.

To begin healing, you must start at the root. Homegoing is the beautiful tale of two sisters separated at a young age. One sister is forced into the slave trade. The other sister is married off to a white slave trader posted in Africa. Gyasi takes us through each generation. We understand their pain, their healing, their love, and even their heartbreak.  Everything happens for a reason and everything you do affects the generations thereafter. Through their stories, we rediscover our roots and together we heal.

For now, this is all I have. These books allowed me to spread my wings and fly. I have never felt freer in my life. I hope that after reading they off you some relief and freedom.

Have you read any of these books? I would love to hear some books that have your life? Comment below and please share!

How to Heal Yourself-Part 1

The burden to carry pain is much more difficult than the time it takes to heal. I made the decision that I was going to stop crying and make the necessary moves to be happy. When making this video, I realized I have so much more to share about my personal healing process so stay tuned for Part 2. :)

Let me your thoughts by sharing, subscribing, or leaving a comment below!

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Natural Ways to Alleviate Anxiety

So, I have a little secret. Most of the time I look hella calm and happy, but in reality, I fight an internal battle with anxiety and depression on the daily. Sometimes these things cause me to leave work or class early or even worse cancel plans with friends and family. It’s not the easy to deal with at all, but with a few lifestyle changes I have managed to cope.

Click the video below to learn all of the small, but mighty things I do daily to help with my anxiety. I will post ways to overcome depression in the future

What are some natural ways that you alleviate your anxiety?! Leave me some suggestions in the comments below.

So I Got Fired.

Two years ago, I moved from Chicago to LA with no job, barely any money in my account, and a dream in my heart. There were hella bumps in the road, but today I am walking in my purpose and spreading love all over this beautiful Earth. I sat down with the boos at “So I Got Fired” to talk purpose, taking risks, mental health, and DM slides. Click here to hear the full episode.

The Friend Zone: What Male Friendships Can Teach You About Self Love.

One month after heartbreak, the reality sunk in. I fumbled out of bed. Slowly walked to the bathroom and stared at my puffy eyes in the mirror. Silently, I whispered, I miss my friend.

For the past six months, my best friend was Tyler (or at least that is what I will call him for now). Tyler was an enigma to say the least. The mix of his social nature and spontaneous personality made him easy to love. We were both in our own weird post break up process. It was tough, but he made it easier. Most of the time, we would just share a spliff and cruise down PCH (Pacific Coast Highway for all my non-Cali folks). It felt good to be free and laugh again. The situation began with shared adventures, escalated to a few giggles, and eventually led to a kiss which, in time, turned into multiples kisses.

On one beautiful night, the multiple kisses stopped abruptly. I said “Tyler”. He said “Mhmm”. I simply nodded my head. That night we became one. I will never be able to explain how it felt. The experience was more than physical. It was spiritual. My first thought was

“Have we done this before?”

When fall ended, Tyler informed me that he was moving back home, but our situation would remain the same. I was for it, because I believed sometimes true love must suffice from a distance. As the seasons changed, so did our love. The new season brought a new woman into his life. Unfortunately, Tyler failed to inform me of the change. When all the secrets and lies came to light, I was devastated to say the least.

We stopped talking for months. As much as I loved the first kiss, I regretted everything that came after it. I didn’t care about the intimacy. I would have given that all up just to go back to the days when we were simply friends sharing energy and taking trips to the stars. Today, we are cool, but it pains me to say that we will never be as close as we once were.

It made me reflect on my thought process towards the opposite sex. Why was it that whenever I am introduced to a male my initial thought is “Is he my husband?

It didn’t make sense, so I spent the last year intentionally cultivating and strengthening genuine male friendships. My clique of bros supported me, protected me, paid for me when I was broke and most importantly empowered me to discover what real love is. Through these relationships, I learned a few things about loving myself. Here goes:

• Genuine connections don’t come from unrealistic expectations. I was on a search for love. If he didn’t fit the mold of my future husband, I would instantly dismiss him which made me miss out on a lot of genuine male friends. Eventually, I learned in every encounter whether physical, spiritually, momentary or whatever it may be you have to cherish the person in that moment without expectation. Don’t let unrealistic expectations block you from the opportunity to meet someone who can inspire your growth. In learning to enjoy men as friends rather than jumping straight to romantic partner, I met some really dope dudes who helped to reveal the light hidden within me.

• Take Your Time Sis! You don’t have to go with the first man that gives you attention. The one thing I love about my bros is that they don’t settle. When discussing relationships, I often roll my eyes, BUT I always crack a smile when they say she is a good woman, but she isn’t my wife. They understand what they want and even better they don’t settle. My boys taught me to wait until you are ready, keep your options open and be patient. No need to rush. There are a million and one people in this world. You will find YOUR one.

• Focus on yourself first. We all want to build the best life for ourselves, but our approaches are completely different. Men tend to focus on career first and family second. Women tend to do the opposite. One day one of my boys sat me down and said

“Tiff, why are you so concerned about a family right now. You can barely balance your checkbook”

All I could think was “damn bro, you right”.

I was focusing so much on having the “American dream” that I forgot to focus on becoming the best woman I could be. It was inconsiderate to even attempt to incorporate someone into my life, especially when I was still trying to figure it out.

• Last thing, they taught me that I AM AMAZING AF! Leave it to your friends to always see what you can’t even in your darkest moments.

Is it possible that one of my boys could one day be my husband? Maybe. Who knows and honestly who cares? I am just blessed to have them in my life. So, this goes out to my boys all across the world. You have and continue to shape me as a woman. I am so grateful and blessed to have your love, your support, and your protection. I am because you are.

So, tell me in the comments all the AMAZING men in your life who push you, empower you, and support you in becoming the best version of you!

Create Your Self Love Motto

Learning to love and be gentle with myself was no easy task, but creating my personal self-love motto truly laid the foundation for my self-love journey. 

Click the Picture Below to Create Your Own Self Love Motto:

Oh, and if you need a little inspiration to get you started, click the link below to view my own personal self love motto.

With Love,

Tiffany Lit’Shae

Rediscovering Roots Pt. 1

Recently, I have been on self-love journey that includes rediscovering my roots. Growing up in a place that was culturally deficient, I realized there is a lot I don’t know about the history of my people. The most I know is that I am black and a teensy part Irish.

I started wondering how can I love the pieces of me that I know nothing about?

The search to get closer and learn more brought me to Sade, the founder of Roots of Resistance. Recently, we had the chance to sit down and chat about the history of afro healing ways. I learned so much. Like, did you know that Westerners used to purposely poison slaves so they could learn their healing practices? I know you are probably thinking the same thing I was. “Damn, what the ?!?!”

Anyway watch the full video by clicking the picture below. This is part 1 of many and if you want to know more Sade holds workshops and classes. You can learn about those by contacting her at boogiedown2soultown@gmail.com or checking her Facebook page.

You are a dope person! Start acting like it!

You are a dope person! Start acting like it.

Up until a few years ago, I did not think highly of myself. 

I never thought I could run my own business.
I never thought I could facilitate workshops for young girls.
I never thought I was deserving of real, unconditional love.

On top of that, I had all these fears constantly circulating in my head. 

What if I fail?
What if I go broke?
What if I never live up to the expectations of the ones I love?

After rising and falling, again and again. I learned the most rewarding things in life take hard work, dedication, and most importantly faith. 

I am not talking about faith in the Universe or God. I am talking about faith in yourself. You have to believe in YOU, before you start this journey. Trust and believe, if you don’t believe in yourself no one will. 

I have curated a small but mighty list of people who have pushed me to believe in myself over the years. If you need a little more of a push, no worries. I got your back! Simply contact me to schedule a FREE coaching consultation and I will help you to get on your way. 

Alright, now let’s check out some of my faves: 

“The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho

For me, this is where it began. In his best-selling book “The Alchemist”, Coelho reminds us that we all have a purpose in our lives whether we want to believe it or not. It is up to us to follow the omens in order to fulfill our personal journey.  From here, I learned to listen to my heart over my mind. Sometimes, my mind leads me to believe I am failing, but my heart always reassures me I am on the right path. 

If you are currently struggling to find a deeper meaning in your daily life. Trust me, this book is for you! 

Photo Credit: shesbeautyandthebeast.com

My sister Tracy G is dropping some powerful gems through her audio vision boards. She speaks life when it comes to self-love, relationships, purpose, and (of course) securing the bag. It only takes a few minutes a day, but she will leave you feeling like you are the Queen of the world. You can find her albums on Itunes and Soundcloud!

“Acts of Faith” by Iyanla Vanzant:

The process of believing in yourself is daily battle.  Some days I feel I can conquer the world and other days I feel completely helpless. Acts of Faith is your daily armor to save yourself from the blows of self-doubt and insecurity. Stick to a page a day and watch your soul start to fly. 

Last thing, YOU GOT THIS! Don’t every let anyone (including yourself) make you think any differently. 

With Love, 

Tiffany Lit’Shae 

Boss Up! by learning to be more selfish.

For a majority of my life, I was the definition of selfless. I was always doing for others with the expectation of nothing in return. Need a ride? Call Tiff. Need money? Call Tiff. Your boyfriend breaks up with you at 2 AM in a drunken fit? Call Tiff for comfort.

You can check out my full story here, but it was something ingrained since birth. The women in my family always gave their last. The world smiled upon them and they would often hear phrases like “God is going to bless you”, but I saw the other side of God’s blessing. It was filled with the hurt, anxiety, and the strain that a lack of appreciation does on your mental health.

On a random car ride, my brother gave me a message that would change how I looked at my selfless ways. He said,

The most selfish thing you can do is take care of others, but the most selfless thing you can do is take care of yourself.

That short phrase opened me up to the beauty of being selfish. When I began to say no and allowed myself the space to be selfish, I was better able to love those around me. So here is what I need all the selfless men and women in my life to know….

Understand that is okay to be selfish: I was taught as a kid that God loves a giving heart, but we take that sentiment a little too far. We must learn that life is about GIVE and TAKE. It is totally okay to take time to love and appreciate YOU! When we allow ourselves to replenish, we place ourselves in a better position. I want you to say this mantra 3x.

“I am valuable to the people in my life. I am giving to myself so that I can better give to others in the future.”

Set Expectations: One of my biggest problems? I had high expectations for myself, but none for those around me. I gave without expecting anything back, but what I now realize is that people in your life who love you and care about you will see how much you give and will step in to help, simply because they love you. There will be no need to ask or beg. They will see your selfless nature and want to pour into you.

Weigh Your Options: So, take a pen and write this down, because I want you to remember this right here. YOU ALWAYS HAVE OPTIONS. Before you commit to any situation, weigh your options and make the best decision for YOU. I did a lot of things in relationships and friendships that didn't suit me. I let others make decisions in my life for me. Everything was divine in the end, but next time I am avoiding all. We only have one life to live. Don’t die having regrets! Let’s be sure it is our best life.

Any who with all that said, go be a selfish boo!